I know that we are all born for a reason, some magnificent moment when all the world comes together to celebrate our existence. Though, I can’t help but questioning mine.
Our commander tells us that part of being in the Precipitation Department is to follow the guidance of the G.A.I.A System, All hail mother, but there has to be more to life than waiting for my moment.
“Ayra! You’re up!” A command comes from the speaker in the corner of my room.
Here it is, my moment, something I have been training for my whole life. Countless lessons on what it means to be a droplet in the Precipitation Department is about to pay off.
I take one last look at my room and sigh. The walls are covered with posters from the last three @mosphere concert that I never got a chance to attend because I was working. Even my desk with all the notebooks on how to transform into the best snowflake, and what it means to be chosen as a water droplet, seems meaningless to me now.
Most of those who are chosen as water droplets never make it to the snow unit, an elite team with one mission, replenish the hydro levels of the G.A.I.A System, All hail mother, and sacrifice our lives in the process.
I am supposed to be grateful, but it still feels like more of a burden than a privilege. I didn’t ask to be chosen.
“Ayra! Hurry up, we only have 30 minutes to get you into the right spot.” Sinba calls over the comm system to hurry me along, as if I have any other choice. Even if I didn’t choose this for myself, I am no coward, just a reluctant sacrifice.
I take one last look at my room for the past 46 seasons, and make my way to the launch pad. Some of my team cheer me on as I grab my gear and recite my final rights.
“Hey, Ayra?!?” A small voice calls out to me, but I only catch it because it’s the only voice that sounds sad.
Miri sits with their hands tugging at the fibers on their hoodie. “What if you say no? Do you think they would let you go?” Their voice feels like the first rays of the sun after a thunderstorm, soothing and firm in its delivery.
I know I have less than 15 minutes until I have to be in my position, but I need to make sure Miri doesn’t get any ideas of revolting.
“I don’t know kid, seems like I am one of the chosen. Think they can do it without me?”
Miri doesn’t look at me, but I can feel them thinking about my words. I don’t want to show my reluctance here, not when I have no other choice. If Miri is going to remember me, I hope it’s about all the good times we had together. All the pranks we pulled without getting caught.
“No, they can’t do this mission without you, but I can’t keep going if you’re not around.” Miri’s fierce gaze locks onto mine and I can tell they have made up their mind.
“Don’t do anything rash, kid, you still have a few seasons left in you.” My voice wavers, but my face remains stoic. Miri has always been the most stubborn droplet, whenever they got an idea, even a bad one, I was powerless to talk them out of it.
“Too late, I have already gotten approval from the G.A.I.A System, All hail mother, I am going to the launching pad with you.” Miri stands in front of me, hands balled and ready for a fight, but a part of me feels relieved to have them with me.
“Okay, kid, lead the way.” I say and try to keep the giddiness I feel out of my voice. Just minutes ago I was questioning why it mattered or not if I had to be the one to go and now my partner in crime is once more willing to do one last stunt with me.
“I am three seasons older than you, so stop calling me kid.” Miri huffs, but now that I have a clear look at them, I can see they have already geared up under the raggedy hoodie they always wear.
“You’re always gonna be a kid to me, especially when you are so short.” I lightly shove them toward the launch pad and start on my final check of my gear.
“Arya, glad to see you made it.” Sinba greets me with his usual sardonic glare. It’s a good thing I know that he’s a good droplet, and he just has too many negative electrons in his system. “You’ll be diving in 10, so make sure you are ready.”
“Aye, aye captain,” I mock salute and head to my position. There is nothing more to check, all I need to do is complete the dive and press a button. The only good thing about this moment is that I don’t feel anxious, even if I still don’t want to do it, I take one last look around the cabin at all my colleagues and friends. They look so happy to send me off one last time. Part of me wants to resent them for the appreciation I can see simmering in their gazes, but this is what we were trained to do. All for the G.A.I.A. System, All hail mother.
“Sinba, I am ready.” Miri calls out from their spot. They look like a small ball of nerves on the edge of exploding. Though more than anything, they try their best to look brave.
I reach out and hold their hand entangling our fingers and sharing a bit of my protons with them.
“We can go at the same time, kid, I’ve got your back.” I say as I squeeze their hand for reassurance.
“Miri, good to see you joining us. Okay folks, we are approaching our drop destination. Get ready.” Sinba says over the comms and the people who were looking at me with appreciation retract their gaze and begin counting down.
“10”
“9”
“8”
“7”
“6”
“5”
“Any last words?” Sinba asks us as the NimBOStratus-6i opens the cargo doors.
“4”
Miri shakes their head and clutches to my hand tighter.
“3”
“2”
“Hey Sinba!” I yell over the counting.
“What?” Sinba’s leering eyes lock on to me as if I have disturbed him one time too many.
“1”
“You should smile more.” I say as we take the final step out the cargo doors and into the sky.
For a moment, my mind goes blank, and I feel nothing. Not the wind, the exhilaration of falling, my feet starting to freeze, the device strapped to the left corner of my mouth, none of it matters.
The moment passes and I scream with all the ferocity of a storm, each and every emotion, I have been holding in for the last 43 seasons tumble out of me. I can feel Miri gripping my hand even harder and as I look over, small tears slide across their eyes and crystalize into small snowflakes.
I squeeze their hand three times and finally meet their gaze, and scream once more something I have always wanted to say.
“ALL FUCKING HAIL MOTHER!”
Miri’s eyes widen, and they shout for the first time and the last.
“ALL FUCKING HAIL MOTHER!”
There is a ringing in my ears before I understand what is going on. My hand feels empty as Miri spins to my left and lock eyes with me. Before I can dive closer to them, I can see the ice particles have covered most of their body. My chest squeezes, but I watch their final moment, their last breath, before there is nothing but a snow storm where there used to be the smile that could warm my heart on any given day.
Swifter than what I know to do with the emotion, rage fills me to the brim, and I explode, chomping down on the device strapped to my mouth.
There is no bittersweetness of losing the only droplet I truly cared about, only the blissful rage of finishing my mission.
My mind starts to fade as my particles mix with Miri, meddling us together for the last time.
A sense of fulfilment washes over me, and I understand my purpose.
All my life, I wanted to be someone greater than the sum of my parts, and I waited for that moment to find me. But I didn’t think it would be so calm.
The ferocity of our storm will refill all the reserves in the region, granting new life with the next season.
All Fucking Hail Mother, Indeed.
Jona Nightingale 